3 min read

There is a lie we learn early:

That if we ignore something long enough, it will disappear.
That if we stay busy, productive, positive, we are safe.

It isn't true.

What you run from does not fade. It adapts.
It waits until you are tired.
It follows you into sleep.
And one day, it stops knocking and forces its way in.

This is not written for everyone.
It is written for you — if something in you tightened just now.
For you who are done with comfort that asks nothing of you.

1. Avoidance is not neutral — it charges interest

Every time you turn away from something that hurts, you are not erasing it. You are postponing it. And postponement always comes with cost.

You can hide in work.
In distraction.
In relationships.
In self-improvement.
In numbness dressed up as control.

It looks different, but the mechanism is the same: not now, not here, not me.

What you refuse to face doesn't vanish. It waits — and it grows heavier.

2. What you avoid shapes you more than what you confront

Unfaced pain doesn't stay contained. It reorganises your life.

Your choices narrow.
Your risks shrink.
Your world quietly becomes smaller.

You don't become who you could be.
You become someone built around one central act: avoidance.

3. Fear grows in imagination, not reality

The mind is excellent at catastrophes and terrible at accuracy. When you keep distance from something long enough, fear fills the space with stories.

Facing something doesn't make it easy — but it usually makes it clearer. Reality, even when painful, is often less destructive than the fantasy you've been feeding.

Fear survives on distance.
It weakens when approached.

4. Courage is not dramatic — it is exposed

There is nothing heroic about facing yourself.

It is quiet.
Uncomfortable.
Often lonely.

It happens when you stop negotiating with your own life. When you stop asking, How long can I avoid this? and start asking, What happens if I tell the truth?

That is where change begins.

5. Many people will support your escape — few will support your confrontation

The world rewards functioning, not honesty.

You will be praised for coping.
For staying productive.
For not making others uncomfortable.

Very few will clap when you stop running.

Loneliness in truth is still safer than belonging built on denial.

6. Pain is not always the enemy

Some pain is information.

It signals misalignment.
It marks a boundary.
It points to something you have outgrown.

Numbing it may quiet the noise — but it also blinds you to what matters.

Listening is not surrender.
It is orientation.

7. Run long enough, and the chase becomes your life

This is the simplest truth — and the most dangerous.

If you keep running, you will forget what you were running toward.

Closing

Transformation is not a miracle. It is a decision repeated quietly over time:
to face instead of flee,
to stay instead of numb,
to stand instead of run.

What you face will not destroy you.
What you avoid already is.

Before we end here, remember this: be kind — to others and to yourself. It may help someone more than you realise.

Best wishes,
Raymond and Ken